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Player Profile
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Beginner Jay
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(United States)About me
| Presentation | Greetings! OK, it's the end of the line for me and PokerRoom. It's been a great run .... tons of heartbreakers, and a few nice wins. My best win: 7th in the October GT4 for over $13k. My worst time: a 5 month drought in early 2006. To all my friends: I hope to see you all in next year's WSOP. To the few few axxholes I've met .. bubble time! So long, and thanks for all the fish! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Something new from an e-mail from a friend. No idea if it's true, but it is funny: After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. ____________________ ____________________ _______________ Commentary from Steven Wright, a semi-famous comedian and actor who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." Here are some of his gems: 1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3. Half the people you know are below average. 4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot . 6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. 9. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. 10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. 12. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 13. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. 19. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. 20. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 25. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 29. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 30. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 31. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 32. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. 33. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. ____________________ ____________________ _________ I got this from ksgshmoops. Check out her pokah page too: Psychologists often refer to the 7 stages of grief that accompany any significant loss in an individual's life. We certainly think AK qualifies, and know the stages all too well: 1) Denial: "There's no way I could've missed the flop. They were suited. I can call here, I probably still have the best hand. Shoot, I should raise to narrow the field" 2) Anger: "I raised preflop. The board is 239. What the fuck are they calling on? Oh, now they're re-raising me? Well, we'll fucking see about that. Fine, your 23o hit? Congrat-u-fucking-lations. Cap!" 3) Guilt: "Man, I missed the turn and they're still betting into me. I am such a terrible player. I should really let go of this hand. Let go if it, dumbass. Let go. See, this is why you never make money at poker because you can't lay a hand down you stupid fuck JUST FOLD." 4) Depression: "Call" 5) Forgiveness: "It's ok, you have to look that guy up every once in a while with A high. He might've been on AQ or AJ, and you would've had the best hand then. It's good for your table image anyhow. People won't mess with you now." 6) Acceptance: "Ok, next time I'll just limp and see a flop." 7) Recovery: "Hey, AKs, alright - RAISE! ____________________ ____________________ _____________ Good luck on the tables - unless I'm still in the hand! Ok, everybody is listing their wins, so here's mine: um .... well .... I'll put one down as soon as I win a tournament! 10-02-2005 - OK, I managed to do reasonably well in the GT4. Thanks to all my friends for cheering me on! Regards; Jay |
| Personality | Open minded |
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My Poker Achievements
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Game Information
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| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
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My TopLists
Latest Visitors
| Nickname | Date | |
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juliet4u4 | 14 Nov, 2011 |
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flyin95 | 3 Jan, 2010 |
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NL420 | 1 Oct, 2009 |
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_a33bars | 18 Jan, 2009 |
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brankich | 18 Jun, 2008 |
