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Craven Head
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(United States)About me
| Presentation | Tuesday August 30, 2005 @ 1:46 AM : I HAD A ROYAL STRAIGHT FLUSH!!!!! Hey...Where's my shirt?!? Thursday September 1, 2005 - 2ND PLACE out of 586 in the $5 + $0.50 NL (Freezeout) Friday October 28, 2005 - 1ST PLACE out of 1589 in the Ghostbuster $1 + $1 NL! PAID $1463!!! Horray for ME!! Wednesday November 9, 2005 - 1ST PLACE out of 663 in the Lucky Dollar $500 Added $1 + $0! In language, "FUCK" falls into many grammatical categories: • It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). • It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). • It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). - • It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). - • And as almost every word in a sentence ...Fuck the fucking fuckers. - • As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". - Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations... • Dismay ...ahhh fuck it. - • Inquiry ...Who the fuck was that? - • Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the fuck is going on here. - • Incompetance ...He's a fuck-off. • Greetings "How the fuck are ya?" • Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer." • Resignation "Oh, fuck it!" • Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now." • Aggression ...Don't fuck with me buddy. • Disgust "Fuck me." • Confusion "What the fuck.......?" • Difficulty ...I don't understand this fucking question. • Despair "Fucked again..." • Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier." • Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?" • Lost "Where the fuck are we." • Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!" • Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!" • Denial "I didn't fucking do it." • Perplexity "I don't know fuck about it." • Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?" • Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?" • Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here." • Directions "Fuck off." • Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?" • Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself... - - - • It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole." • It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty." • It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?" • It can be maternal- "Mother fucker." • It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!" • It has also been used by many notable people throughout history... • "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima • "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic • "That's not a real fucking gun." - John Lennon • "Who's gonna fucking find out?" - Richard Nixon • "Heads are going to fucking roll." - Anne Boleyn • "Let the fucking woman drive." - Commander of Space Shuttle • "What fucking map?" - "Challenger," Mark Thatcher • "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein • "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso • "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras • "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo • "Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney • "Why?- Because its fucking there!" - Edmund Hilary • "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" - Joan of Arc • "Scattered fucking showers my ass." - Noah • "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy BEER VS. PUSSY • A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. -- Advantage: Beer • A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. -- Advantage: Pussy • Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. - -- Advantage: Beer • Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. - -- Advantage: Draw • If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. -- Advantage: Pussy • 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. -- Advantage: Pussy • Too much head makes you at the person giving you a beer. -- Advantage: Pussy • If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. -- Advantage: Beer • If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get pissed. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get pissed. -- Advantage: Beer • 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. -- Advantage: Pussy • Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. -- Advantage: Draw • It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. -- Advantage: Pussy • If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. -- Advantage: Pussy • With beer, bigger is better. -- Advantage: Beer • Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. -- Advantage: Beer • If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. -- Advantage: Pussy • Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. -- Advantage: Pussy • If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. -- Advantage: Draw • If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. -- Advantage: Beer • If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. -- Advantage: Beer • The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. -- Advantage: Pussy • The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. -- Advantage: Beer • Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran. -- Advantage: Draw • Good beer: heffenwezein,mickeys, New Castle. Good pussy: Almost all but the above. -- Advantage: Pussy •The government taxes beer. -- Advantage: Pussy •It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. -- Advantage: Pussy 13 REASONS WHY IT'S COOL TO BE A MAN 1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2)You can go to the bathroom without a support group. 3)You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 4)If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. 5)Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 6)Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 7)Same work, more pay.... 8)Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. 9)Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $150. 10)If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 11)You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 12)The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 13)Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay SOME JOKES • Three executives of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer, neither will I. • Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first". • A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?" |
| Personality | Mischievous |
| Occupation | Chief |
My Poker Achievements
| Date | Event | Winnings |
|---|
Game Information
| Poker Idol: | Phil Hellmuth |
| Favourite game | |
| Structure: | |
| Casino game | |
| Prefers | |
| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
| Hobbies | Business and Investments, Night Life, Eating Out, Online Gaming |
| Favourite sports | Baseball, Basketball, Golf, Football, Hockey |
| Favourite music | Jazz, Blues, Rock, Hard Rock / Metal, Hip Hop / Rap |
Personal Links
| Link | Description |
|---|---|
| Philadelphia Eagles |
My TopLists
Latest Visitors
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_cipanu | 23 Jan, 2009 |
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HempFree | 5 Oct, 2008 |
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_caminades1 | 4 Feb, 2008 |
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casino girl | 31 Jan, 2008 |
