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Player Profile
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Fu_King_Aces
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(United States)About me
| Presentation | Here just to play poker been here a week already made over 6 million dollars in play money kinda easy... i used to play at partypoker.com switched over. i have millions over there. Please feel free to send me a message or post in my GB Here are some funny jokes some are dirty so if you are affended please don't read  tyLaying Off Sarah or Jack Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees - always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed. Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn't making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay one off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. He decided that he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off. So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah gets a terrible headache and needs to take an aspirin. She gets the aspirin out of her purse and goes to the water cooler to get something to wash it down with. Mr. Smith follows her to the water cooler, taps her on the shoulder and says, "Sarah, I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off." And Sarah says, "Can you jack off? I have a headache!" Pain Divider A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it. The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden. The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try. The Doc set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt. The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased. The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results. This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%. After the delivery both mother and father felt fine. The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved. Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep. Nude Nuns Three nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really hot day and the nuns were getting really hot in those black clothes they wear so they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked. Later they heard a knock on the door.... "Who is it?????", The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man". So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them. The nuns let him into the room.... The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "nice tits sisters, where do you want the blinds?" The Gift A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove". "These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really good". "I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again". "When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing". "Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love". "P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing." Mickey Mouse Wants A Divorce Judge: Look here Mickey Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie. Mickey (stunned): Why not? Judge: I have reviewed all the information you gave the court, but i can't find any evidence at all to support the grounds that she is crazy. Mickey (exasperated): Your honor! I didn't say she was crazy... I said she was $*#@ing Goofy! |
| Personality | Confident |
| Occupation | Chief |
My Poker Achievements
| Date | Event | Winnings |
|---|---|---|
| 06 Jun, 2007 | 2 MILLION DOLLAR TOURNY | 2301632 |
| 09 Jun, 2007 | Omaha 10k pre | 2282717 |
Game Information
| Poker Idol: | myself |
| Favourite game | |
| Structure: | |
| Casino game | |
| Prefers | |
| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
| Hobbies | Business and Investments, Health and Fitness, Night Life, Eating Out, Entertainment Movies Theater, Online Gaming |
| Favourite sports | Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, Football, Hockey, Soccer |
| Favourite music | Jazz, Blues, Rock, Hard Rock / Metal, Electronic, R&B / Soul, Hip Hop / Rap |
Personal Links
| Link | Description |
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My TopLists
Top Poker Winnings since i have been here
- 2301632
- 2282717
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Latest Visitors
| Nickname | Date | |
|---|---|---|
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menuke456 | 29 Sep, 2007 |
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pokerlilly63 | 28 Sep, 2007 |
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_Kenzo z | 6 Aug, 2007 |
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sinner-81 | 15 Jul, 2007 |
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_Moderator5 | 27 Jun, 2007 |
