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Player Profile
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Groovejunkie
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(United States)About me
| Presentation | Hello snoopers and friends. I love playing poker and can't get enough of it sometimes. I am the groovejunkie in my band. I also play pool whenever I can. I have made good money at all 3 and I have wasted money on all 3, lmfao. I have many friends on this site, way too many too list individually, but a shout goes out to all the members of ChiefBradd's Posse. I'm a huge Washington Redskins fan and Philadelphia Flyers fan. I'm from New Jersey but live in Pensacola, Fl (also known as hurricane alley, lol) so that makes me a damn yankee, cause I moved to the south, and stayed. . This letter was sent to the principal's office after an elementary school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady had received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize, and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all human kind. Dear Faculty and Students, God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens' luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at an Assisted Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio. Before I received this one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping. The other day, her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of little pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I said fuck you. Thank you for that opportunity. Sincerely, Agnes . A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey Koala! What are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink of water from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!". So the koala looks down at him and says: "Fuuuuuucccckkk, dude........how much water did you drink??!" . A friend of mine is working at a local grocery store trying to earn some extra cash bagging groceries. One day he escorts this little old lady to her car. Walking through the parking lot the old lady says to him, "I have an itchy kootchie." My friend looks at the old lady and says, "Ma'am, you'll have to point it out to me, all these foreign cars look the same to me." . Little Johhny has a substitute teacher one day in school. She writes her name on the blackboard (Ms. Prussy) and tells the 3rd grade class that she is gonna ask them her name the next day in class to see if anyone remembers how to say and spell her name. The next morning she gets to class and asks if any of the children remember her name. Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Ms. Crunt". . What do Micheal Jackson and oysters have in common? They both come on little white crackers. . What's the difference between a pizza and a guitar player? A pizza feeds a family of 4. . What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice. . What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless. CHILI COOK OFF If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: ******************** ******************** ************* CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy ******************** ******************** ************* *** CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face ***************** ******************** ************* ****** CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer. ******************** ******************** ************* ********* CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC... Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? ******************** ******************** ************* ************ CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. ******************** ******************** ************* *************** CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone. ******************** ******************** ************* ****************** CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI. Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. ******************** ******************** ************* ********************* CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report |
| Personality | Open minded |
| Occupation | Grinder |
My Poker Achievements
| Date | Event | Winnings |
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Game Information
| Poker Idol: | THE UNDERDOG |
| Favourite game | |
| Structure: | |
| Casino game | |
| Prefers | |
| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
| Hobbies | Night Life, Eating Out, Online Gaming |
| Favourite sports | Football, Hockey |
| Favourite music | Rock, Hard Rock / Metal, R&B / Soul |
Personal Links
| Link | Description |
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My TopLists
Latest Visitors
| Nickname | Date | |
|---|---|---|
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juliet4u4 | 14 Nov, 2011 |
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garlinda1 | 26 May, 2010 |
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_SunRize169 | 25 May, 2009 |
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Im_So_Hot_xx | 3 Apr, 2009 |
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K_Sultan78 | 31 Mar, 2009 |
