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		Last Chance to Quailify for the Moblife Final by Liam Clark
		The GSOP Action Just Keeps Coming by Liam Clark

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Player Profile

Status	Offline
Birthday	17 Jul, 1986
Country	(Germany)
Joined	10 Sep, 2006
Pokah Status	Senior member
Visitors	167
Pokah posts	2 (click to view)
Groups	apple , European Group ,
Articles

About me

Presentation	Fresh Jokes A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, \\\"Give me six double vodkas.\\\" The bartender says, \\\"Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.\\\" \\\"Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay. The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, \\\"I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!\\\" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, \\\"Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?\\\" \\\"Yeah, my wife...\\\" Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they\\\'re standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. \\\"I can\\\'t let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.\\\" Then came the second straight guy. \\\"Sorry, can\\\'t let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!\\\" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, \\\"It doesn\\\'t look good, Dick.\\\" Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can\\\'t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning \\\"I\\\", pointed to his knee meaning \\\"need\\\", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, \\\"What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!\\\". The other guy says, \\\"I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I\\\'m coming!\\\" One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin\\\' and a shakin\\\'. The first flea asked, \\\"What the hell happened to you?\\\" To which the second flea replied \\\"I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I\\\'m so very coldddd!\\\" The first flea said, \\\"Don\\\'t you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm\\\". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin\\\', shakin\\\', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed \\\"Didn\\\'t you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?\\\" To which the second flea replied, \\\"I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache! Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together. The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail. The robbery begins. The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, \\\"I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?\\\" \\\"Perfectly,\\\" he said. He goes in the bank while the other waits in the getaway car. One minute passes, two minutes pass...seven minutes pass - and the first lover is really stressing out. Finally, the bank doors burst open and out he comes. He\\\'s got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard\\\'s pants and underwear are down around his ankles while he is firing his weapon. As the guys are getting away, the first lover says \\\"I thought you understood the plan!\\\" The second lover said, \\\"I did! I did exactly what you said!\\\" \\\"No, you idiot,\\\" he replied. \\\"You got it all mixed up. I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!\\\" A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. \\\'Just where the heck do you think you\\\'re going!\\\', said the man. \\\'I\\\'m going to Las Vegas\\\', said the wife, \\\'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free! \\\'The man said, \\\'Wait a minute!\\\', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. \\\'Where the heck are you going?\\\', said the wife. The man said, \\\'I want to see how you\\\'re gonna live on $800 a year!\\\' On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks \\\"And get me a whisky you cow!\\\" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls \\\"And get me another whisky you idiot\\\". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot\\\'s approach \\\"I\\\'ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I\\\'ll kick you\\\". The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says \\\"For someone who can\\\'t fly, you complain too much!\\\" Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the titanic. When it starts to sink Carter yells, \\\"Quick, save the women and children!\\\" Nixon: \\\"Screw the women and children\\\" Clinton: \\\"Do we have time?\\\" The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton. The subject of discussion was the penis of their respective spouse. The first lady of UK says, \\\"It is like a gentle man- it stands up, as soon as I enter the room\\\" The lady from Russia says, \\\"It is like an army officer- you do not know where he will attack from- front or back..\\\" The French lady says, \\\"It is like the screen in the auditorium- once the act is performed, it drops down...\\\" Then Hilary says, \\\"It\\\'s like a rumour... it moves from one mouth to another...\\\" Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can\\\'t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. \\\"Honey,\\\" she signs, \\\"Why don\\\'t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don\\\'t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.\\\" The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, \\\"Great idea, now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don\\\'t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis fifty times.\\\" A husband and wife decided that during their Holiday season they\\\'d only argue under special circumstances - like when they were both in the house at the same time. Once there was a sperm named Bob. When all the other sperm were just swimming around, Bob was doing sprints and lifting weights all the other sperms asked him one day, \\\"Why don\\\'t you just swim around like us?\\\" Bob replied, with a smirk, \\\"well, when the time comes, I\\\'m gonna be the first one there\\\". The others told him it was just destiny, but he said it wasn\\\'t. So, the day finally came when they were called upon. They were swimming along when Bob pulled ahead of the rest. Suddenly he stopped and turned around and headed back. The others asked him why he turned around and he said, \\\"back up boys it\\\'s a BLOW JOB!\\\" \\\"Sunflower\\\" By Paul WellerAlways willing to discuss Brautigan. Unable to edit my lists, Graceland Paul Simon at the top with Tapestry.
Personality	Luscious
Occupation	Chief

My Poker Achievements

Date	Event	Winnings
21 Nov, 2006	Freeroll Potlimit Omaha	20
10 Dec, 2006	Silverroom No Limit Texas Holdem	90
20 May, 2007	Green Weekend PL 5carddraw	160
03 Jun, 2007	King of the Hill(Final)	350
06 Jun, 2007	Daily Silverroom	30
30 May, 2007	12K Rebuy	68
07 Jun, 2007	12K Rebuy	120
24 Jun, 2007	Gold Room PL 5 Card Draw	70
24 Jun, 2007	Siver Weekend PL 5 Card Draw	160
07 Jul, 2007	Gold Room PL Omaha	60
08 Aug, 2007	Daily Freeroll	35
08 Aug, 2007	3K Rebuy NL Holdem	38
08 Aug, 2007	Sit&Go Shorthanded	70
11 Aug, 2007	Lucky Dollar +2500	37
12 Aug, 2007	500 Rebuy PL 5 Card Draw	312
13 Aug, 2007	Qualifier to 150+12	162
17 Aug, 2007	Green Room Limit Holdem	48
19 Aug, 2007	2K SH Rebuy NL Holdem	351
05 Sep, 2007	Turbo NL Holdem 2+0,25	246
15 Sep, 2007	NL Holdem 5+0,50	113
15 Sep, 2007	500 Added NL Holdem	475
17 Sep, 2007	PL Omaha 10+1	120
21 Sep, 2007	18000 Rebuy NL	167
22 Sep, 2007	Lucky Dollar + 2500	1288
23 Sep, 2007	Qualifier to 150+12	162
23 Sep, 2007	Qualifier to 100+8	108
24 Sep, 2007	15000 Rebuy NL	78
25 Sep, 2007	100+8 European Daily	1544
26 Sep, 2007	10000 Rebuy Shorthanded	148
30 Sep, 2007	Qualifier to 300+20	320
30 Sep, 2007	3000 Rebuy NL Holdem	210
09 Oct, 2007	Lucky Dollar Rebuy	163
13 Oct, 2007	Gold Room Limit Holdem	77
13 Oct, 2007	500 Rebuy PL 5 Card Draw	137
18 Oct, 2007	2000 Shorthanded Rebuy	726
23 Oct, 2007	10+1 NL Holdem	200

Game Information

Poker Idol:	Phil Ivey, Eddy Scharf
Favourite game	Texas Holdem
Structure:	No-limit
Casino game	BlackJack
Prefers	Tournament
PokerOnline	Real money

Hobbies & Favourites

Hobbies	Business and Investments, Night Life, Eating Out, Online Gaming
Favourite sports	Bowling, Soccer
Favourite music	Electronic, R&B / Soul, Hip Hop / Rap