CET 14:09 ET 08:09 AM GMT 12:09
Play Now!
Player Profile
|
Kieto
|
(United States)About me
| Presentation | I wrote a poem years ago. Submitted it to poetry.com. Of course, I won. It's all somewhat of a scam. They've been spamming me for 3 years now every single week to buy a book, and/or come to a convention to receive an award that would only cost me $59.95. This is what I sent them. To whom it may concern. I get stuff from you guys, poetry.com, 20 times a week. I've asked you to stop, take me off your list, remove me, unsubscribe me, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Maybe if I structure my request in a way that will help you understand what I am asking you to do, you'll stop the spam.... forever. A Poets Request to Poetry.com by Kieto Stop the spam that you send to me. It makes me want to puke you see. Do you understand all of what I ask? Or do I have to come over there and kick your ass!? hehehehe. I've been playing Hold-em for a very long time. For the most part, players are pretty knowledgable and fun to play with. Once in a while, a jerk, or jerkette (rare), joins the table and makes it kind of tough to enjoy the game. However, in most cases, they aren't around long enough to really get to anyone because they are usually among the first ones out. You run into the same people in live poker at the casinos. Most of the people I've met in these rooms are people I'd like to meet and play anytime. Oh, and by the way! I play pretty tight in the rooms. I like to watch and play accordingly. If by chance you run across me and I'm playing really loose, it's not me. My cat Ziggy likes to play and she is absolutely nuts. Loves to raise that kitty of mine. She has a visor and smokes cigars too. Just be careful. Farmer Billy Bob and the Square Watermelon by Kieto It was watermelon harvest time and Farmer Billy Bob was walking out to his field to check on his watermelon crop. However, earlier in the day is where this story begins. Sitting around the old potbelly stove early one morning in the Handy Dandy Five and Dime was a group of good ol' boys who loved to get together and try and out-do each other with crazy stories. They had all met there each morning for some 20 years telling story after story trying to out do each other. But you never could tell which stories were true and which ones weren't from any of these fellows. They all seemed to be equally full of hot air. But they would swear up and down that whatever the story was, that it was true. There was Gorgeous George Gherkin. A 76 year old barber and retired Volunteer Fireman who got his name from his friends because he was constantly grooming himself in the mirror. A habit hard to break from being a barber all those years. Then there was Ned Dill. A pig farmer who spent most of his days now in the small town of Hicksville, population 500, at the Handy Dandy Five and Dime. His seven sons were taking care of the pigs and hogs now so he really had nothing else better to do. One of the oldest fellows sitting around with his feet up on the stove and the best storyteller of all was Ulysses Clausen. A retired Major in the Army who had been in six different conflicts had plenty of funny stories to tell. Farmer Billy Bob was the worse. No one laughed or shucked him after he threw his two cents out there. He was sort of dim-witted, slow and not to quick if you catch my drift. Because he wasn't too bright, his stories just never made sense. Gorgeous George always had the gossip over the years from his barbershop; Ned had won many State Fairs with his pigs and hogs; and Ulysses had all his war stories. But all Billy Bob ever had or knew was his watermelons. One morning, after Billy Bob had told them one of his bum stories and had had enough of the yawns and the hoe hums, he decided to leave and go tend to his crop of watermelons. It was that time of year and this is where we pick up the story. As he walked out to his field to check on his watermelon crop, he noticed something peculiar. It was a big old crow perched on one of his watermelons. He shouted and waved his arms around and screamed at the big bird but it never did flinch a muscle. He tossed rocks and dirt and twigs at it, but nothing made him fly off. The crow just ignored him. So he walked over, sat down on one of his watermelons across from the crow and started talking to it. He began to tell the crow one of his stories. It wasn't long before the crow reared up, flapped his wings, crowed real loud and flew off. The crow didn't even like his stories. Farmer Billy Bob took off his hat, scratched his head, and mumbled to himself, "Well, don't that beat all!" When he stood up, he noticed that the watermelon the crow had been sitting on wasn't round. It was square! He jumped up and clicked his heels right there in the field! He leaped for joy because there was no such thing as a square watermelon. In all his years as a watermellon farmer, he's never seen a square watermellon. How silly even to think of such a thing! So he picked it up and carried it carefully to his pick up truck. He was going to take the square watermelon to the Handy Dandy Five and Dime to show the boys. He put the square watermelon on the back of his pick up truck and headed back to town. Later in the day, he showed up at the Handy Dandy Five and Dime all disheveled, all sweaty and looked like he had been run over twice by a corn husker tractor. Gorgeous George asked Billy Bob, "What the heck happened to you?' Farmer Billy Bob sat down, took off his hat, pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket, wiped his brow and his face and let it all come out about the crow and the square watermelon. He told them how he sat across from the crow and started telling the crow one of his stories and how he flew off after he crowed real loud at him. He told them how he found the square watermelon and leaped for joy. He told them how he placed it in the back of his pick up truck to bring it back to town because he knew nobody believe him. He told them while driving back to town how he had been thinking about how the crow and how he didn't like his story and flew off in a huff. [Use your best southern dialect here] "That know nothin' crow I said to myself," he was telling the boys. "I was at the stop sign on that hill over by 104 at Rt. 32 ya know, where they come together, when a car full of teenagers pulled up next to me. One of them said, hey, look at that nut with the square watermelon on the back of his pick up truck. When I got out to see for myself, the truck started rolling and I was doing the best I could to catch up to it but it was too steep a hill and it went off the cliff over by Miller's Quarry. By the time I got to the edge and looked over, I saw my pick up truck all wrecked and smashed up at the bottom and the square watermelon smashed right beside it. So, I just walked back to town. All 20 miles of it! Yes I did, uh huh!" Gorgeous George, Ned and Ulysses just looked at each other and started to snicker. Then it broke out into a chuckle and then a laugh until they were falling on the floor laughing so hard. Farmer Billy Bob couldn't understand what was so funny because it really did happen the way he said it did. Ulysses then said, "That was one of the craziest stories I've ever heard!" Ned said, "Yup, sure was, uh huh!" And Gorgeous George exclaimed, "Billy Bob, let me buy you a pop and some jerky! You been holding out on us!" For years after that afternoon, they talked about the crow and the square watermelon and laughed. Billy Bob didn't care anymore that they didn't believe him. Even though his pick up truck was at the bottom of Miller's Quarry with a watermelon smashed right beside it. He just was happy to finally be accepted as a good storyteller. Moral: If you're telling a made up story for a laugh or two, and no one understands it, believes it or laughs at it, just try telling them something that really happened that's not too funny to you. It works most of the time. The End Yodeling Yolanda by Kieto High above the mountain village of Gildersville, on a hill laced with lavendar and daisies lived a lady named Yolanda. Yolanda would wake each morning and go out to the edge of the hill and yodel a song to the people of Gildersville below letting them know it was not only 6am, but time to get up and/or start the day. She had done this for many many years. Actually, she had been doing it since she was a little girl. Each and every day, rain, snow, sleet, or sunshine, Yolanda would yodel her good morning song. No one had ever seen her except for Roy Roundtree, a glass blower who lived in the town and knew her parents well. He would bring her food and anything else she wanted. But to the townspeople, she was a mystery. People often talked about Yolanda and even gossiped and sometimes, even made jokes about her. Jokes like, Yolanda was a bit off key this morning. Or, Yolanda must be 100 years old by now and they would all laugh. Fact of the matter was, no one ever took the time to climb the mountain to meet her. No one except Roy Roundtree. One morning, a little before 6 o'clock, high above the town in the mountains, Yolanda was making her daily trek to the edge of the mountain. In the town below, many of the towns people were gathering at the local diner for their morning coffee and danish. At 5 minutes to 6, they all started with their questions and comments about Yolanda. "Well, I guess Yolanda will be yodeling soon. Yolanda sure is a mystery," quipped one customer. "I wonder what she looks like and why she likes to yodel." asked another customer. "Yodel? You call that yodeling? Sounds to me like someone has a cat by the tail!" replied another. Everyone laughed. It just so happened, Roy Rountree was sitting in a nearby booth enjoying a cup of coffee and a danish. He took a sip of coffee and said, "I've known Yolanda for many years. I bring her food and supplies each week and she is a very nice woman." "She is very smart. She is very beautiful. She is funny, witty, remarkably caring and loves to yodel. She's been living in the mountains as far back as I can remember. Her parents and grandparents taught her to yodel when she was just a little girl and I guess you can say that she's been doing it now going on 75 years!" Just then, someone began a countdown to the 6am hour. "10, 9, 8, 7,..." Unbeknownest to the townspeople below, Yolanda was stepping closer to the edge of the mountain high above the town as she had for many years to yodel her morning yodel. As she opened her mouth to yodel, a terrific wind came along and knocked her over the edge. She tumbled down the side of the mountain head over heels. Over and over and over she went. Down the mountain to the hill below tumbling 1000's of feet and into the valley just above the town. She tried to stand briefly only to tumble and roll some more down into this creek and then, because she had enough speed, up and over a small hill. Down and down she went all the way into town rolling right down the middle of Main Street right throught the front door of the diner where everyone was sitting. She did a final 360 degree flip flop right onto a stool at the counter. All who was in the diner were aghast at her entrance and no one knew who she was because they had never met her before. But Roy Roundtree knew and he said aloud, "But Yolanda can tell you more about Yolanda!" And Yolanda cleared her throat and yodeled... "I'm an old lady toooooooooooooo!!" yodeling Yolanda yodeled. Moral: Never make fun of people you haven't met before. They may just end up on a stool in your kitchen someday. |
| Personality | Fun |
| Occupation |
My Poker Achievements
| Date | Event | Winnings |
|---|
Game Information
| Poker Idol: | |
| Favourite game | |
| Structure: | |
| Casino game | |
| Prefers | |
| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
| Hobbies | Business and Investments, Health and Fitness, Online Shopping, Night Life, Eating Out, Entertainment Movies Theater, Home & Garden, Online Gaming |
| Favourite sports | Baseball, Basketball, Bowling, Golf, Football, Hockey |
| Favourite music | Jazz, Country, Blues, Rock, R&B / Soul |
Personal Links
| Link | Description |
|---|---|
| Kieto's Daily Recipe and FuNnIeS | Music, recipes, jokes game s and more. |
| Music For Web Pages 101 | This is my business web site. I design web sites and specialize in promoting them. This is a web site that offers free music for your business or personal site. Check it out! |
My TopLists
Latest Visitors
| Nickname | Date | |
|---|---|---|
 |
prettyshina0 | 20 Apr, 2012 |
|
lovebrenda | 13 Jan, 2012 |
|
_juntau | 7 Feb, 2009 |
 |
highwaysong8 | 5 Feb, 2009 |
|
jeffrock8 | 19 Jan, 2009 |
