CET 02:52 ET 08:52 PM GMT 01:52
Play Now!
Player Profile
|
fast fredi |
About me
| Presentation | News, Comments, and a Little History below. Please take your time and read for some laughs. 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to. 3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________' 4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. 5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds &walnuts. 6. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment. 8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 10.. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?' 17. Forgive everyone for everything. 18. What other people think of you is none of your business. 19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him. 20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!! 22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 23. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________. 24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it. 26. Send this to everyone you care about. Story with a Moral: Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said, "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed. The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a little of it into the Queens brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth. King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts. Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion onto King Arthur's loincloth. King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master..... Moral of the story: Pay your bills. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx UCLA STUDY (VERY INTERESTING & SHORT) A study worth sharing with friends both male and female: A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected xxxxxxxxxxxxx 1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to mee t a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around.. 12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON. True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know! But some of us have all right friends & good friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Guitar, for sale .... Cheap ..... no strings attached. Ad In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!! Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives. When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking... I Gave Up Reading. My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle. You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick ... Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off. Sign In A Bar: 'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance.' Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way. Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman. The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions. Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention. Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone. The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. · The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. · A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball. · It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. · One human hair can support 6 lb. · Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. · The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. · If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died. · Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. · Women blink twice as often as men. · Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't. · Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. · The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man. · You guys are still looking at your thumb, aren't you? I NOT ONLY LOOKED AT MY THUMB, I MEASURED IT! <BLUSH> Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs...built the ark. Professionals...built the Titanic xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx HISTORY “Rome fell September 4, 476AD. It was overrun with illegal immigrants: Visigoths, Franks, Anglos, Saxons, Ostrogoths, Burgundians, Lombards, Jutes and Vandals, who at first assimilated and worked as servants, but then came so fast they did not learn the Latin Language or the Roman form of government. Highly trained Roman Legions moving rapidly on their advanced road system, were strained fighting conflicts worldwide. Rome had a trade deficit, having outsourced most of its grain production to North Africa, and when Vandals captured that area, Rome did not have the resources to retaliate. Attila the Hun was committing terrorist attacks. The city of Rome was on welfare with citizens being given free bread. One Roman commented: ‘Those who live at the expense of the public funds are more numerous than those who provide them.’ Tax collectors were ‘more terrible than the enemy.’ Gladiators provided violent entertainment in the Coliseum. There was injustice in courts, exposure of unwanted infants, infidelity, immorality and perverted bathhouses. 5th-Century historian Salvian wrote: ‘O Roman people be ashamed... Let nobody think otherwise, the vices of our bad lives have alone conquered us’.” VERY INTERESTING STUFF In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. It is impossible to lick your elbow. The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work : Alaska The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs - Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 If a statue in a park is of a person on a horse that has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? A. Obsession Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? A. One thousand Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase..."Goodnight, sleep tight" It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn\'t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND FINALLY NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are....live, laugh and love HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Try everything twice. On Madam's (of Whelan's and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times! 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches). 3. Keep learning: Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's! 4. Enjoy the simple things. (Ice cream, good movies, chocolate, more ice cream, more chocolate) 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with that person. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life is you. Lost time can never be found. LIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, or a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. 10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity. I love you, my special friend. 11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. 12. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If you have enjoyed my Stories, Jokes,and History Lessons, please sign my Guestbook and let me know. |
| Personality | Mischievous |
| Occupation | Chief |
My Poker Achievements
| Date | Event | Winnings |
|---|
Game Information
| Poker Idol: | |
| Favourite game | |
| Structure: | |
| Casino game | |
| Prefers | |
| PokerOnline |
Hobbies & Favourites
| Hobbies | Business and Investments, Health and Fitness |
| Favourite sports | Baseball, Football, Soccer |
| Favourite music | Jazz, Blues |
Personal Links
| Link | Description |
|---|
My TopLists
Favorite Movies
- GodFather(s)
- Goodfellas
- Gladiator
- Any Grocho Marx
- Highlander (first only)
Favorite Musical Artist
- Allman Brothers
- Beatles
- Bob Dylan
- Santana
- Jimmi Hendrix
My Top List of things (maybe not in this order)
- Peanut Butter
- Day Off
- Sunny and Warm Weather
- Tequila
- Cigars
Latest Visitors
| Nickname | Date | |
|---|---|---|
 |
Im_So_Hot_xx | 19 Aug, 2009 |
 |
elparimano | 8 Aug, 2009 |
 |
H-Bomb26 | 4 Aug, 2009 |
 |
Korolina | 2 Aug, 2009 |
 |
bosshog777 | 24 Jul, 2009 |
